1. |
Doubt
04:31
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Almost out of gas, less than 1/4 tank left
Battery is dying, 20%
My whole life feels like a mess
scatterbrain and stress
Maybe I need to figure out a new equation
Trying to carry the one, overall feels like I'm failing
It's just been a long year and my brain's all fried
It's just been a long day and I'm just tired
Hope has been far and few between
Try to numb the pain, pretend it's all a dream
But if it was I'd be sleeping on elm street
Troubles wrapped around your throat so tight
No one can hear you scream
Like a monster on your back breathing down your neck
Shoving greasy fingers down your throat and eye sockets
He force feeds you grief and apathy till it pours out your mouth like wet concrete
This is for the trans kids grinding away, at 50 hour work weeks with 5 minute smoke breaks, sweating next to a grill like it's 110 while their coworkers are still misgendering them
This is for the kids from single parent households, free reduced lunch and income based housing
It's okay to cry when life gets you down
But don't let it keep you there, you've got gifts to offer now
Don't doubt your ability, I know that we're powerful
It's okay if you disagree, just know that I don't doubt you
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2. |
Miracles
06:23
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Won't lie won't lie I don't wanna lie
Sorry I've been distant, I know you'd understand, but you were always a phone call away
I've been off exploring the concept of who I am and I'm not certain you would agree
I saw you in my dreams, it was a sentimental scene, one of love and healing
There was no Jesus Christ, the angels did not sing, no it was just you and me
And I'm sick as a dog as the nyquil's wearing off at 4:30 AM
But in my mind and in my heart I love you like I'm 3 again
The kids are all turning water into wine
Performing miracles instead of suicides
So don't you dare die before you get a chance to see
The consecration of our own fluidity
If you only knew the truth of how your loved ones are maybe then I wouldn't be judged so harsh
But centuries of indoctrination, colonialism and pain have forced all out hearts apart
Some people grow up to be priests, some people grow up to be cops, in comparison being me seems pretty benign
But love comes with conditions when it crosses the church, so would I be loved or crucified
And all I ever wanted was to make you proud and I know that I have
But if you really knew how i really was would you tell me I was damned
The kids are all turning water into wine performing miracles instead of suicides
So don't you dare die before you get a chance to see the consecration of our own fluidity
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3. |
3 AM
02:59
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Complacently wasting away
I don't have the courage to face the day
My heart is wrapped in tape
And my soul is glued I can't even save face
My friends all look like they're having fun
Laughing and dancing in the sun
But at night they're singing the blues
Afraid to tell each other that we're all singing too
And the liquor's just a wet band aid
Infecting the wounds in my brain
I worked all night and I stayed up late
Because 3 AM is too lonely to dream
Oxymorons, contradictions, is that all that we're given?
Isolation, entertainment, oh what a cruel arraignment
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4. |
Not the Same
04:28
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Depression hasn't been this hard to fight in a long time
But I haven't drank like I did last night in a long time
Grateful for my blessings but I still feel low
Future stressing, hyper venting, I just need to learn to let it go
Just let things be how they're gonna go
I know my friends got me, yeah their love shows
Attention gets confused with love, which one do you seek?
I can get what I want, only in my dreams
The trees are going dormant and they're losing their leaves
I'd like to shed this frost of winter, grow a future in the spring
I've been listening to these old songs
the same ones from long ago
The melodies and rhythms that we grew up on
It almost feels like home
The record spins round and round
each revolution like another year
Another season, another sound
But it's not the same without you here
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Raccoon Pit Fort Collins, Colorado
CO Punk Rock!
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